Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Florida man allegedly attacked pregnant sister during fight over chicken nuggets

“I will punch you down,” Gordon barked at the woman before grabbing her neck and tossing her into a nightstand, the report said.
Kareem Gordon, 28, allegedly pounced his 25-year-old sister, who was four months pregnant, after he saw her eating the fast food treat inside their mother's Orlando home, according to a report. Gordon was booked on charges that include aggravated battery.
Apparently chicken Nuggets are tastier on Florida, if they're worth beating up your pregnant sister.

On the topic of men who should not be allowed anywhere near women, take the following steps to improve your Internet experience:

Use Notepad to open the following file on your computer:

Add the following lines to the bottom: www.returnofkings.com returnofkings.com

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Florida man smuggles 13 bottles of liquor in sweat pants

On Thursday, November 14 around 8 a.m., security cameras captured the man (above, left; also, below left) wearing a gray t-shirt and sneakers as he walked out with possibly the chunkiest pair of black sweatpants in all of Fort Myers that hour
I don't think I've ever owned a pair of sweatpants that had the structural integrity for a heist, especially one of that magnitude. Whoever made those sweatpants might want to use this news item as part of their advertising to brag about how durable the clothing it.

Then again, such advertising might be seen as encouraging the use of the clothing as a aid to larceny, so it might not be such a great idea to use it in marketing materials.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Woman sues officer who repeatedly applied mace to her genitals

Woman sues officer who repeatedly applied mace to her genitals

I'm at a loss to understand the "logic" that lead a police office to repeatedly spray a caustic chemical onto a person's most sensitive parts. If his goal was to retrieve the plastic bag, then his course of action was downright idiotic. If you spray someone's genitals with mace, they're going to clamp their legs together and clench up, possibly drawing the alleged contraband further into their body.