Friday, May 24, 2013

Rainbows are Gay Now

A recent online exchange reminded me of a former coworker from a job long ago. She was in her 60's. She was the single most anti-Semitic, racist, homophobic person I'd met since college. She ran an "investment" newsletter for some of her equally atrocious friends. One day she asked me for a clipart CD so she could "pretty up" the newsletter. She was, of course, doing this on company time. She ended up sending out a newsletter full of rainbows and unicorns. A few hours later she started getting angry calls from her friends about the "faggy" newsletter. She confronted me and accused me of sabotaging her by not warning her that "rainbows were gay now." (Did I mention she was paranoid too?)

"Rainbows have been a gay pride symbol for ages."

"Since WHEN?"

"Since you were in high school."

"How was I supposed to know?"

"Watching the news?"

She laughed and said, "I'd rather be drinking."

I considered that statement a nice summary of her life, personality and understanding of the world around her.

After that she declared me the "f*g sh** expert" for knowing that rainbows were used as a gay pride symbol. On the rare occasions when a news story involving homosexuals came to her attention, she would go around the office telling people to ask me about it as I "probably knew the degenerates involved."

I sometimes forget just how many truly horrible people I've worked with over the last 20 years.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

This is why punching parking officers is a bad idea

Last week I saw something that amused me.

An officer in Harvard Square was writing a parking ticket for a badly parked SUV. A man ran up and started screaming at the officer. The officer calmly looked up and went to put the ticket on the SUV. The man took a swing at the officer. The officer dodged it easily, and the man punched the side of his own SUV. The man crumpled to the ground, clutching his hand and yelling some more.

The officer calmly walked around the prone man, put the ticket on the car and walked away as if nothing noteworthy had happened. If I'd had a camera and taken  a picture I'd be torn on if the better caption was "Like a Boss" or "I Ain't Even Mad."

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Who is REALLY Behind One Million Moms?

I normally try to debunk conspiracy theories, but I'm starting to think "One Million Moms" is in fact an advertising organization created to promote TV and movies that rely upon "shocking" plot lines stolen from the circular file of the average soap opera.

Anyone else remember the "The Book of Daniel" TV show? No? There's a reason for that. It was poorly written and poorly acted. It was crap. OMM PROLONGED it's existence by creating artificial interest in a crappy TV show with their protest.

Since OMM is attacking "The Mistresses" then my bet is "The Mistresses" is crap and the artificial controversy created by OMM will be the main reason it manages to air for a full season.

Monday, May 20, 2013

That Can't be Good for the Paint job

This Monday morning was annoying. I was running late, my son was arguing with me, and I realized I needed to hit an ATM to pay for parking. I decided my best bet was to use an ATM in the city center before taking my son to school. I parked near a church and started crossing a couple of streets, my son riding on my shoulders. The intersections in the city center are a bit messy, but perfectly safe if you wait for the lights. People tend to pay more attention because of the heavy pedestrian traffic due to the nearby high school.

During my short walk I saw an African-American woman crossing a different branch off the central rotary a few yards away. She had the right of way, and was obeying the traffic signals. I was noticing her hair, a intricate web of braids piled high. Despite the altitude of the hairdo, it meshed perfectly with the smart business suit she was wearing. I'd turned away and resumed my walk to the ATM when I heard the screech of tires and a blaring horn. I looked back and saw a cream colored BMW stopped inches from the woman. The driver had apparently tried to run the light despite their being pedestrians in the crosswalk. He leaned out his open window, threw a lit cigarette in her direction and screamed "What the F**k are you doing ni**er?"

Her response was to stop in the street, blocking the driver's progress. She turned and looked him in the eyes. She then silently pointed to the very well marked crosswalk she was in, and then to the "walk" signal she was clearly obeying. She stood there for a moment and then finished crossing the street. The BMW driver proceeded to run the red light.

My son and I reached the ATM, got some cash for parking and went back to our car. While driving I saw the exact same woman on the far side of the four lane street, starting to cross. She had one of those massive fruity beverage Starbucks sells during the Summer. As I slowed and stopped to let her cross in front of me I reflected on the fact that the drink looked as big as her upper arm, and I wondered how she'd manage to drink it all.

I glanced in my rear view mirror and noticed there was no one behind me. The woman made eye contact with me as she reached the median and I waved her on. She smiled and started jogging across. She was almost over the line into my lane when I heard an engine roar and saw a blur of motion to my left. A black BMW was pulling around me at high speed. He peeled towards the woman and she had to run to avoid being hit. She threw her sugar bomb beverage into the air and it landed on the BMW's windshield. The BMW screeched to a halt and I could see the wipers starting to smear the beverage.

The woman didn't stop running until she was across the street. She looked back, threw up her hands in a "I'm done with this" gesture and moved on, shaking her head, laughing and looking back at the BMW that was still stopped and covered with the beverage. As I inched past I noticed the BMW's driver was on the cell phone, yelling, and flipping the bird at his nearly opaque windshield. I noticed that a lot of the drink was on his roof as well, and I reflected that it was quite a shame he wasn't driving a convertible with the top down.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

GTA: Vice City dies on Samsung Galaxy S2 (SGH-T989)

I recently bought Grand Theft Auto:Vice City for Android and installed it on my Samsung Galaxy S2 (SGH-T989) running Samsung's release of Android 4.1.2.

The game hangs as soon as I try to drive a vehicle. It will resume after a few seconds, but the end result is two to three seconds of drive time between 30 and 50 second freezes. Adjusting the video options fails to change this behavior. Rock Star has a thread about this bug on their support site that admits this is a known problem with several phones, including the T989. Frankly, I consider it false advertising to claim the Galaxy S2 is supported when it clearly is not.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

You GO Girl!

The other day I was walking through Harvard Square. It was lovely. The sun was out, it was warm, Spring was here. The woman ahead of me was a Rubenesque beauty with dark, curly, hair, a short skirt and, inexplicably, cheap flip-flop sandals. I was thoroughly enjoying the view, but was distracted by how obviously uncomfortable she was in the flip-flops and how they contrasted sharply with the rest of an otherwise elegant ensemble. I began to overhear snippets of her conversation.  I realized as she spoke that she was in the process of being dumped over the phone. She was on the verge of tears.

"I know I'm fat," she said, in a tone I suspect she meant to be confident, but came across as pleading and apologetic.

"Yes you are!" said a man who, like me, had happened to be nearby. "And you are fucking FABULOUS!" He spoke with a flamboyance that would have made Nathan Lane's character from "The Birdcage" suggest he tone it down. "And Honey," he said, leaning towards her conspiratorially, "You have the legs for heels, you should wear them." He then flounced off with an exaggerated swish that convinced me he was deliberately hamming it up.

The woman watched for a moment as the man left, still holding her phone. She then looked down and seemed momentarily surprised at what she was holding in her hand. She raised the phone to her mouth and said, in a firm, commanding tone devoid of all doubt, pretense or apology, "Fuck. You." She smiled, hung up the phone, straightened her shoulders and marched down the stairs to the "T". I stopped for a moment to watch her go. I wanted to tell her that the man had been right, but I couldn't think of a way to say so that didn't sound like I was hitting on her. The visible confidence in her stride however, informed me that she didn't need the oracle's words reaffirmed. She knew he was right.

Saturday, May 4, 2013



When your Mac Sync software ONLY supports 64 bit Macs, then kindly SAY SO on the download page. Claiming to support Mac OS 10.6 and above is disingenuous at best when you ONLY support 10.6 and above on 64 bit Intel Macs.

Furthermore, making me go though multiple replies with your support staff to reveal this information to me is profoundly stupid, when it is a known issue that has been discussed by your customers on your support forums. I'm glad I researched the issue myself so I could bypass some of the back and fourth your support staff was trying to make me go through.

You know this is a limitation, you made a decision to not support 32 bit Macs and yet you make it obtuse and annoying to get this information. Every OTHER vendor whose software I've used specifically states when it only runs on 64 bit architectures, BEFORE you download it and try to install it. I can't run the latest version of Handbrake on my Mac, but their site tells me as much so I know not to bother downloading it.


A future customer.