Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Baby Spam

I think it's crass.

I arrived at work this morning and opened my e-mail. As usual, there was some random clap-trap from corporate. Corporate is a couple thousand miles away, and they still see fit to e-mail us emergency exit maps and other site specific details that no one here gives a damn about.

Today was a little different.

Today we received a SPAM from one of the corporate sales drones asking for help in adopting a child. In addition to the e-mail, she sent an attached Word Document, both of which I've included below.

Notice that I've edited out the personal details. I'm including this for entertainment purposes. I'm pissed off that people I don't know are, for all intents and purposes, SPAMing me for help in adopting a child.

This smacks of desperation, and while I respect the frustration of those who want children and can't conceive on their own, it's inappropriate to SPAM people. Company e-mail is not a venue for baby hunting.

I see nothing wrong with asking your friends and family to help. The material below would be appropriate for a blog, newspaper ad or any other of a number of outlets. The search itself is not the issue, it's sending it to a bunch of people you don't know that pisses me off.

By the way, I've cropped the photos and resized them. The original Word Doc had all the scanned photos in the full 8.5x14 size stright from the wife's scanner, at an obscene resolution.

The E-Mail:

Hello my friends at <CompanyName>, I am reaching out to you after hours in order to minimize the disruption of your day. The reason for this email is personal, but I need your help. My husband, <HusbandName>, and I would like to adopt an infant and we are embarking on a search. We ask you to read the attached letter and keep us in mind if you know of a woman/girl with the desire to give up her, soon to be born, child, for adoption.

If you know of someone, please give her our letter. We also ask that you forward our letter to your U.S. based family and friends as well as churches, schools, doctors and anyone else you think my know of a mother giving up her newborn child, and ask them to, in turn, send this out to their network. And so on.... If you have any questions, please feel free to contact us or respond to this email.

We greatly appreciate your assistance in spreading our story.

Warm regards,



<CompanyName> - Senior Account Manager

<Second Line of Title>

xxx-xxx-xxxx (office)

xxx-xxx-xxxx (cell)


<Corporate URL>

The Attachment

Dear Birthmother,

We are XXXXX and XXXXX. We would like to offer a baby a warm and loving home however we are unable to conceive a child of our own. We would love to adopt a baby to start a family and to have the wonderful experience of parenting because we have a great deal of love to share. We have been married for over three years now but have been in a loving relationship for over 10 years. We are both successful career people with Michel working as an investment banker for a financial organization and Laura working in sales for an education organization.

We both come from a very close family environment with each of us having four siblings. We know the value of family so we look forward to raising our child/children in the company of caring aunts and uncles and the fun of 11 cousins. We also continue to enjoy the company of loving parents who are looking forward to the day that we bring a new child into our growing family.

Our home is a four bedroom home and already contains a child’s room complete with murals on the walls and hand painted furniture. Our home is located on a nature preserve so we see an abundance of wildlife through our many windows. You can actually see our home, inside and out, at the following link: http://xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

We have a very fun neighborhood consisting of 39 families which we are happy to call friends. Our neighborhood is a wonderful place to raise children in that we have over 30 children under the age of 6 living in our neighborhood with more on the way. We live on a cul-de-sac so there is very little traffic. To make this place even better, we are also part of one of the best school districts in the state of Wisconsin.

Vacations are a part of our life including the time share we own in Florida which we look forward to sharing as a family. We also enjoy a great deal of activities together such as Hiking, Kayaking, Traveling, reading, fishing, gardening and cooking…actually Michel does most of the cooking and Laura helps. In addition, Michel also enjoys long distance biking, teaching Spinning classes at the YMCA and watching all types of sporting events and Laura enjoys Yoga and serves as Volunteer Director for various Wisconsin Special Olympics events.

We plan to raise our child in the Christian faith. Since we are both from large families, we hope to eventually bring more than one child into our lives so that our children can feel the happiness and support that siblings can bring into a life.

This is not an easy decision for you and we respect your choice. We know that adoption can be an incredible experience for all involved. Please contact us if you want to talk and thank you for listening.

Medical and legal expenses paid. Please call us anytime at xxx-xxx-xxxx or email us at

Warm regards,

xxxxxx & xxxxxx

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