It turns out you can get an energy star rating for just about anything, even a gasoline powered alarm clock! All you have to do is claim that YOUR gasoline powered alarm clock is at least 20% more energy efficient than any other gasoline powered alarm clock on the market.
No, the government doens't check your claims.
In light of this stunning revelation, I'm moving forward with the following inventions:
- The bacon fat powered lawnmower.
- A series of model rocket engines that use salami as the fuel source. (Hey, the Mythbusters say it works!)
- A car that can burn raw crude oil. The Slogan: "It's Smokin!"
- A new, Energy Star compliant coal furnace for home heating!
- A new hybrid engine that uses coal to perform electrolysis and then burns the resulting gas to actually power the engine. Since the product form the FINAL combustion is just water, it's a green car too!
- A coffee maker powered by wood stove pellets.
- And of course, the high efficiency fireplace! It's 20% more efficient than a regular chimney if you operate it with the flue closed! (Operating fireplace with the flue closed is not recommended as this will result in carbon monoxide poisoning.)